We need “true “Natural” love” to escape our inherent, personal prisons

Zsolt Hermann
6 min readAug 11, 2020

By default, we are born into our own, personal prisons.

We are all born with an inherently egocentric, subjective consciousness and perception of reality — as confirmed by material psychology and quantum physics alike — thus instead of “true reality” we sense ourselves living in our own “Plato’s Caves”, in dark, hostile bubbles we build and animate for ourselves.

We look at the world around us as to a smorgasbord, from where we take whatever we need, and evaluate everything according to a simple, self-serving, self-justifying “pleasure/pain” principle, software.

We measure, assess, and filter according to our own filters, we mark, paint everything through the colors of “it is good for me” or “ it isn’t good for me”. Moreover, since perception, research requires similarity of qualities, experiences between the observer and observed, we can detect from the world around us only what we have matching qualities, experiences with.

Thus the world we feel ourselves existing in is truly “our world”, basically everything reflecting back to us our own qualities, experiences, memories projected to objects, people who seemingly surround us.

This attitude towards the world is sharpest in relation to other people. Anybody who is different from us, who does not belong to our most inner circle — which circle keeps shrinking as time goes by as our egotistic self keeps growing, intensifying through Human history and during our individual lives — we envy, distrust, dislike, reject, and we want to overcome, defeat, humiliate them to prove that I am the best, greatest, strongest, wealthiest, etc.

Thus we all sense ourselves in a hostile, chaotic world more and more, and since we all feel like this from our own point of view — more or less, according to each person’s level of egotistic development — we keep reacting to each other accordingly. This is what incites the constant arguments, disagreements, conflicts, and wars in the world. Such struggles can erupt seemingly without any introduction, preceding factors as we constantly sit on a gunpowder keg with lit, fiercely burning match in our hands.

And since we have evolved into a globally integrated and interdependent world the chances for an unprecedented global explosion grow each day.

Most people are still unaware of these explosive desires, intentions driving us from within, many still honestly believe that they are inherently good and are capable of selflessly connecting to, serving, loving others. Others might have already revealed such inner forces in themselves but try to ignore, suppress deny them. This is why our world keeps obliviously or ignorantly sleepwalking towards a very real and imminent global calamity, which could be triggered any moment from multiple various locations by myriads of reasons excuses.

Escaping ourselves

The only escape rout we have — as unique, original, empirical Natural scientists tell us who completely attained the details, cause and effect processes of the inherently selfish, egotistic Human nature in contrast to Nature’s selfless, altruistic, unconditionally serving qualities- is by liberating ourselves from our inherent dark, caves in order to rise above our original, egocentric and subjective consciousness and perception.

We need to find a way to poke our head out of the inherent prisons, so we could meet, evaluate and accept each other without the hateful, egotistic and subjective bias so we could finally reach peace, agreements and the crucially important mutually responsible and mutually complementing cooperation above and against everything that instinctively rejected us from each other.

We would need to learn to see and accept each other positively, with mutual trust above and against the instinctive distrust and automatic criticism rejection.

There is only one emotional state in life when an inherently individualistic, egotistic person can accept and even serve, care for another above, and despite self-interest: Love. Just as mothers who can see only positive qualities in their children — while the same qualities they would deem negative in children of others — only when we develop love towards others we do not have instinctive attraction, connections to, can we develop care, trust and liking in relation to them.

The problem is, that we simply have no such “supernatural” — above instinctive distrust, rejection — love in us by default, we do not even know what it means to care for, love someone we do not expect some selfish reward, benefit from.

This is “true love” — selfless, unconditional service of others, by sensing and fulfilling their desires, needs according to their viewpoints without any selfish, egotistic, subjective calculations — which we have to learn and purposefully develop, acquire in special, “laboratory-like” environments.

Inhumane Love

This “true love” is not “Humane”, as we cannot love, act without receiving some selfish, subjective fulfillment for “loving, caring for” others. This is how we are born, built by Nature, we had no free choice about it, so such an innate attitude cannot be called evil or sinful. This is simply who we are.

“True love” is the characteristic of Nature’s perfect system. The life-giving, positively developing “force-filed” in nature is based on this “true love”. If all the elements in Nature — like cells and organs of our own biological bodies — did not behave according to this “love” towards each other and the whole system, life, health, growth, and development would not be possible even for a moment.

But in Nature, this unfolds instinctively, without any extra effort from the parts of all the elements, cells, organs. Only Humans are destined to learn, reach, attain “true love” by their own conscious, purposeful, and methodical efforts in order to fulfill their very special, evolutionary Human purpose in Nature.

As this “true love” does not exist in us by default, we need to use the above mentioned special “Human laboratory” to learn, copy this love on ourselves through the template we receive from Nature’s system. Only from Nature can we learn and “receive” this unprecedented “love of others” without any egotistic and subjective reasoning, inspiration, reward.

Only “true love” enables us to see the instinctive, automatic criticism, distrust, and rejection we relate to other people by default. Then despite this negative initial evaluation, this “love” allows us to defocus from the inherently egocentric and subjective picture, to go “behind the scenes” and turn the negative picture upside down like a devoted, doting mother evaluating everything she sees in relation to her children as positive.

This enables a very special duality in us. On the one hand, we have the usual, instinctive picture, giving us the usual dark, chaotic worldview, seeing others in a negative, overly critical way in order to raise ourselves over them to prove our superiority above them. On the other hand, we receive a completely different viewpoint, where we see others through the methodically acquired “love of others” we learned, received from Nature.

“Falling in Love”

The only difference between the two, contrasting pictures is the acquired, “true, Natural love”. I, the observer, am the same, the world, all the others are the same. The only factor that changes the picture from one extreme to the other is this new “loving attitude” I copied on myself from Nature’s system.

And then this duality, contrast opens up something completely new. Just like in a mathematical formula where we can cross out factors, elements that are present on both sides of the equation, after we crossed out all, only one thing remains, Natures perfect, absolute, unconditional, “independent” Love that creates and sustains life, providing the most perfect conditions for life to develop.

Everything else — all the positive and negative qualities, arguments and agreements, rejection and attraction — disappear, and we “as if” fall into, dissolve into this all-encompassing, “loving force-field”, fully understanding, approving, justifying nature’s system and its operation.

This sense of attainment, approval, and justification is our Human purpose in life, to become Nature’s selfless, independent observers, witnesses by learning how to cover “selfish, subjective hate” with “Nature’s selfless, altruistic Love”.

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Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.