We need to relearn how to care for, look after each other — even in the families

An opinion from the Internet about how to improve our reactions, behaviour after the pandemic:

“I would allow family members in the hospital to take care of their ones, I was in the hospital for spinal fusion surgery in April for 4 days, it was the most horrible experience I have in a hospital, no one to help me with a bath, brush my teeth, constant battle for pain medication, terrible food and a deep wound on the back of the right leg that no one knows anything about! It is outrageous that these people have to die alone without their loved ones around them! Why couldn’t allow them to come in a hazmat suit or something like that? This is just ridiculous!”

Yes, I agree with you that the care people receive when ill or needy is also extremely important. I have seen what you mentioned — family members “nursing” their loved ones — in Samoa, when I visited the hospital, where for obvious financial reasons — lack of nurses — the family is around the patients, taking care of them in almost every respect.

(Which of course is not always perfect as the family keeps feeding the patients with the food they should not have, many times delaying surgery, treatment…)

But I thought when I saw the care and love families provided, that these patients are actually looked after better, are surrounded by a much greater love than patients in expensive Western private hospitals.

The problem is that in most Western society with our technological and material progress, wealth we lost our sense of bond to each other, with our celebrated individuality we lost our sense of mutual responsibility, interdependence.

Thus even visiting family members for a few minutes in hospitals is a chore, not to mention spending hours looking after them when we have so many other important things to attend.

Moreover, the patients themselves do not want their families around them, many elderly, fragile people want to remain at home, alone to keep their presumed independence, while falling, losing consciousness and being on the floor unfound for hours, days. And then they are put into nursing homes, again without any family support as the family members are scattered, nobody has the time or ability to take on a fragile, old parent.

We are creating, we have created an inhumane society where each is in their own fortresses, each lives for oneself, while Nature’s evolution is pushing us towards full integration and interdependence. This is the paradox we urgently need to resolve!