The totally life-changing and life-affirming inversion of human relationships

Zsolt Hermann
5 min readNov 7, 2023

By default, we are all born with an inherently egocentric, subjective, and individualistic nature. We are all locked into ourselves and perceive and experience everything through our 100% self-serving and self-justifying filters.

We are utterly unable to make any different calculations, but for our own sake, and inevitably and inadvertently, we succeed and progress at the expense of others — knowingly or unknowingly.

Although we believe that we feel each other, that we can have sympathy and empathy and even love towards others, in truth, we are incapable of such emotions and relationships since we can never leave the boundaries of self-love, self-service, and self-justification. This is how we are born.

This is why human history and our present society look as they do, full of conflicts, crisis situations, and wars. We reached a point where it became clear that unless we change how we relate to each other, we will not survive as a species since we will self-destruct as all-consuming and all-destructing cancer does.

Thus in order to survive and to experience a completely different kind of truly Human existence, we need to change how we approach and relate to each other.

We have to build relationships where each person leaves their own egocentric, subjective, and individualistic boundaries in order to merge with others and exist like healthy cells of the same loving and mutually integrated organism.

This requires a very special method that can — above and against our inherent nature that we will not and cannot suppress or erase — gradually bring us to the verge of being willing to subjugate and nullify ourselves before others in order to selflessly enter the desires, thoughts, and viewpoints of others with the single intention to serve and fulfill them exactly how they want to be served and fulfilled.

This process unfolds with the help of a special method — through the unique laws and principles of nature, which facilitates nature creating and nurturing life. The process also unfolds with the help of nature’s unique developmental forces we can harness through the method,m and without which forces we could never change and further develop ourselves.

The closer we arrive to the unique turning point between our present paradigm — where we only care about ourselves and connect to others only to the extent we can use them for our own sake — and the new paradigm, where we commit and devote ourselves to exist and act only for the sake of others while completely forgetting about ourselves, we start to develop some completely new qualities and abilities and we also start to sense completely new emotions.

Before reaching this turning point, we also get to know our inherently egocentric, self-serving, self-justifying, and exploitative nature. As a result the closer we get to others and the more sensitive we become towards their feelings, desires, and viewpoint — as we start to see others “naked” with all their desires and feelings in view, the more and more fearful we also become, fearing that our inherent nature will immediately exploit and use this intimacy and insight into others.

Thus, this new fear from our own inherent nature and the budding and intensifying “love” — the willingness and commitment to selflessly and unconditionally serve and support others — grows in tandem. Even in our present life, we know that when we love someone, we also fear for them and try to do everything to protect them — even if our basic intentions are still selfish and egoistic, like in the case of parents towards their children.

But this new fear-love combo has nothing to do with our ego any longer; everything is only about being able to selflessly and unconditionally serve others for their sake. When we “open others and their desires and thoughts up, we have to feel like cardiac surgeons holding the patient’s heart in their hands, being in a position of causing mortal harm of facilitating life.

In truth, this is exactly how we all need to feel in the mutual connection with other people. In each and every moment, with all our words, actions, and even thoughts, we can cause either mortal harm or we can facilitate life. And since we exist in a globally integrated and interdependent world, it is true in relation to everybody and everything in reality.

This is why it is crucially important to practice these new, inverted relations with others in special environments with the help of the purposeful method.

This is a very difficult development since we feel increasing and almost intolerable resistance and self-protecting fights from our own egos. This inner war between our aspiration to become true lovers and servants of others in order to create and facilitate a qualitatively much higher, collective Human existence between us and the ego that fights for its own survival and total governance intensifies constantly.

And when we go through the last step and the true turning point, it feels like a moment of death as we detach ourselves form our inherently egotistic and individualistic self before we can dissolve into others and before we start experiencing our existence purely through our selfless, and unconditional love and service of others. It is an incredible and previously unimaginable moment of “practical self-suicide” where we continue experiencing and observing how our ego becomes detached and devoid of its previous power and control.

Only through very special mutual support and with the help of the unique developmental natural forces we harness can we go through this transition.

But when we have ”survived” this transition, and we come to our senses “on the other side,” sensing existence through the selfless and unconditional service of others we made all the previous efforts for, we start to feel nature’s life-creating and life-nurturing forces flowing through us and acting through us towards others.

We become partners with nature, and as a result, we also start to feel and attain nature’s finely balanced and mutually integrated system from within, seeing and feeling all the cause-and-effect processes that govern and influence the system.

And since we do not feel existence connected to our previous self any longer, since our consciousness and perception serve only selflessly and unconditionally serving and loving others, and we feel ourselves existing through the whole system of reality, we also feel liberated from any previous, egocentric and subjective limitations like time or space.

It is this life life-changing and life-affirming inversion in Human relationships that is ahead of us in this generation. Not only does our collective physical survival depend on this inversion, but also rising to our next, non-physical, and perfect stage of Human development unfolds through this inversion.

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Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.