The Pain of the Mother Who Cannot Give

The Illusion of Separation

By default, we perceive ourselves as independent individuals, capable of free choices, decisions, and actions separate from and even in opposition to one another. While we may acknowledge the concept of a globally integrated world, we fail to truly feel and embody what such integration means.

According to Kabbalists, empirical natural scientists who have studied reality and human nature for millennia, we are like individual cells and organs of a single living organism. However, we are born with a form of “amnesia” that obscures this interconnected reality. Instead of perceiving our unity, we are trapped in a false sense of independence, convinced that we are separate beings.

This mistaken perception of individuality and the toxic competition it fosters are not accidents but purposeful constructs of nature’s evolutionary forces. By giving us this false sense of autonomy, nature offers us the conscious opportunity to choose to return to our true state: a reality where we are fully integrated and mutually complementing parts of a single, living system.

The Method of Returning

To reclaim this true perception of reality, where our interconnectedness is clear and tangible, we require a unique and practical method. This method unfolds within a special, mutually committed and supportive environment where we practice selfless cooperation and mutual integration. Here, we consciously draw upon nature’s developmental forces to lift us out of our mistaken sense of independence.

The process begins with recognizing the harm caused by our inherent ego — the force that convinces us of our separateness and drives us to exploit one another. This recognition must become so painful and intolerable that it compels us to seek transformation.

We must come to feel that our current behavior, like that of cancer cells in a body, is destructive to the larger organism of humanity. This sharp realization must lead to an unyielding decision: we refuse to continue living and behaving this way. Only such an uncompromising need can awaken the natural forces necessary for change.

Gaining a New Perspective

Once we reach this critical need, nature’s developmental forces act upon us. They grant us the ability to step outside our egotistic and subjective viewpoint, enabling us to observe ourselves “from the side.” This newfound objectivity allows us to see the harm our egos have caused: blocking the flow of life-creating and life-nurturing forces that should circulate freely between us and through the system.

From this perspective, we also begin to appreciate how the rest of nature operates. The natural system functions through absolute selflessness and mutual cooperation, where every element complements the whole. We see how our egoistic behavior disrupts this harmony, causing immense damage not only to ourselves but to the entire system.

This realization generates a deep sense of disgust and fear toward our egos. At the same time, we develop heightened sensitivity to the needs and deficiencies of others, along with a growing desire to fulfill those needs.

The Pain of the Inability to Give

As we begin to understand how we should act — selflessly and in harmony with the system — we encounter a new form of suffering: the pain of being unable to give as we are meant to. This pain is akin to the anguish of a mother unable to feed and care for her sick child, helplessly watching the child suffer.

This unbearable pain creates a similarity between us and the life-creating force of reality. Just as we feel the inability to give, this force “feels” the disruption in its ability to nurture the system fully, due to humanity’s failure to participate in mutual guarantee — the principle of collective responsibility that sustains the flow of life within the system.

Active Participation in the System

Through this shared sensation, we begin to engage more actively with the governing force of reality. This connection allows us to understand the system more deeply, uncovering the cause-and-effect processes that brought us to this point.

We develop the capacity to request increased sensitivity to others’ needs, alongside the strength to prioritize fulfilling those needs above our own. Over time, this transformation reaches a stage where we exist solely to sense and fulfill the needs of others, disregarding our own entirely.

At this stage, we become conduits for the life-creating force of reality, allowing its energy and resources to flow through us to others. We act as optimal channels, receiving fulfillment not for ourselves but to pass it on to the system.

Integration and Liberation

As we progress, we achieve complete, seamless integration with one another. We exist like healthy cells in a living organism, ensuring the well-being of the whole without any concern for ourselves. In this state, we transcend the limitations of ego, time, space, and physical motion, freely exploring and attaining the full scope of reality.

At this point, we tangibly and unrestrictedly feel the single governing force of reality streaming its energy and resources through us. We become inseparable from this force, existing in perfect unity and partnership with it.

The Purpose of Human Life

This ultimate state — where we act as interconnected, mutually complementing parts of the system — is the true purpose of human life. It is a state where we transcend the illusion of separation, dissolve the pain of the mother who cannot give, and realize the boundless joy of selfless giving and integration. Through this transformation, we fulfill our role within the greater system and achieve harmony with the single life-creating force that governs all reality.