The elemental desire that gives, sustains life

Understanding Parents by becoming Parents

When we are young we are spoiled, we don’t really understand our parents, what they want from us. Most of the time — especially as we grow older — their constant attention, demands feels burdensome.

Only when we ourselves become parents do we start to understand our own parents. Only when we ourselves — intentionally or unintentionally “create” our own offsprings do we start sensing that absolute responsibility, constant concern for another “living creature” whose life literally directly depends on us. And this responsibility, concern never goes away, especially for mothers their children always remain part of themselves, regardless of the children’s age, how many children they already have their own.

A mother can never rest until she knows that her children are safe and happy and she constantly tries to do everything to facilitate this according to her 100% ability from an irrepressible, primordial, elemental love towards her children.

This responsibility, concern extends beyond the close circle of the family. For example, for doctors, this is every day “burden”, since they are daily responsible for the lives of others.

For example, a surgeon literally receives the life of the patient into one’s hands when the patient signs the consent form and goes under anesthesia. As a surgeon, I can honestly say that this responsibility does not remain always conscious. If it was — and many times I catch myself that this feeling of responsibility dawns on me especially before a difficult operation — it would crush the person.

But one does not have to be a doctor to have such direct responsibility towards other people. If we think about it deeper, almost all of us — from politicians elected to lead, through teachers who can define one’s future, to builders, plumbers, farmers, policemen, firemen, fishermen, etc — all aspects of the life of others depend on, have the same responsibility. Again, most of the time we are not aware of this, our self-protective reflexes push this direct responsibility to the back of our minds.

As we have evolved into a globally integrated and interdependent world, perhaps we should bring back to awareness this sense of responsibility, not only because by that we could improve the lives of others and become more sensitive, able to solve common problems, but because by that we could attain a completely new awareness of life.

Those who already entered a purposeful, mutually responsible, mutually implementing environment — which prepares people to sense absolute responsibility towards each other beyond the usual, familial, friendly connections to become unique pioneers leading Humanity towards the crucially necessary, collective existence evolution expects from us — can testify that such constant, mutual responsibility catapults one to a new consciousness, perception of reality.

When one keeps investing energy, time, efforts into others on a regular basis, “habit becomes second nature” and those others become as important for the person as one’s own family members, children. The more one invests into the others the more responsibility, “motherly love and pain” one feels towards them. This concern, “desperate love” can completely pull one out of the usual egocentric, self-serving, self-protective existence, as if one existed in those others.

And te greater the circle of concern, investment is, the greater this elemental inner desire, love, concern becomes.

Most of the time this desire is bitter as those others very seldom behave as one would like, or expects, or thinks is the best for them to behave. Like a constantly worrying mother, the person is angry, anxious, worried all the time, wants to give advice, help while those others do not want it. There is a beautiful, fitting expression to this, “the cow wants to feed more than the calf wants to eat”. This expresses the deep, elemental pain, unfulfilled desire of the “mother”, the serving person that wants the maximum best, most optimal state for others but those others seemingly do now want to accept it.

If the circle of concern is big enough, if this desperate, deep, “motherly love” reaches a certain threshold, the person suddenly starts to feel an addition to the emotional impression. Like when the tuning of a radio reaches the desired frequency, this elemental desire matches the primordial, all-encompassing, Natural force that creates and sustains life in Nature. Suddenly the concerned, unconditionally loving, serving person falls into this eternal flow of incomprehensible love, giving which is the foundation of anything living in reality.

Despite its pain, despair, unfulfilled sensation this elemental, Natural, “motherly love” we get to sense in nature as a result of matching its frequency is the most fulfilling sensation that ever exists!




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Zsolt Hermann

Zsolt Hermann

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