Receiving Rewards Without Shame
There is a burning, almost unbearable feeling that arises when we receive something we know we don’t deserve — shame. It stings at the core of our being. Deep down, we understand that in this world, no matter how hard we work or how fairly we are compensated, all of our actions stem from our instinctual nature: a self-serving, ego-driven desire to fulfill our own needs. Even when it appears that our efforts are worthy of reward, the truth remains that we acted out of self-interest, not selflessness.
Our ego — our fundamental drive — is inherently selfish and exploitative. So while receiving a paycheck for honest work may not arouse public shame, there is still no true inner pride in it. The payment is merely a transaction that satisfies our own desires. As long as we operate within this framework of instinctive self-gratification, even the most “fair” rewards remain bound to an undercurrent of discomfort and unspoken guilt.
To escape this cycle of shame, we must transcend the narrow confines of our ego. We must move beyond this world, a world entirely constructed by and for the selfish human desire. True, shame-free reward can only come when we rise above our natural inclinations — when we acquire the ability to serve others selflessly, even uncomfortably, without regard for personal gain.
The Only True Reward
The only reward that brings no shame is the transformation of self — when we begin to resemble the Creator. Not because it makes us feel proud or elevated, but because through this similarity, we begin to comprehend and justify the Creator as the single, purely benevolent force in reality. The reward is the ability to act not for ourselves, but for the sake of others and for the sake of the Creator.
Reaching such a state requires crossing a profound inner boundary. We must reach a point of no return where we willingly choose to abandon all personal fulfillment for something greater. We choose to live not for egoistic gain, but to justify and reveal the Creator’s complete goodness. This decision is not made lightly — it arises from a long, painful process of recognizing how totally enslaved we are to the ego, how all our actions are ultimately dictated by it.
Eventually, this sense of exile — of living under the tyranny of the ego — becomes unbearable. At the same time, a new yearning begins to grow: the yearning for a life of selfless love and bestowal, for a higher, altruistic purpose that aligns us with the fundamental force of creation. When that yearning becomes more powerful than any worldly desire, we become ready to sacrifice everything for it.
The Leap Into the Unknown
At that critical moment, we are willing to “jump headfirst with eyes closed” into a completely unknown state. We are prepared to abandon our old identity — shaped entirely by self-interest — and adopt the Creator’s qualities of pure, unconditional love and giving. This leap is terrifying because we still have no concept, no taste, no example of what it truly means to live and act like the Creator. And yet, we jump.
Even then, we are not free. We remain forever fugitives, like recovering addicts trying to stay one step ahead of a powerful addiction. The ego is always right behind us, ready to pull us back into slavery. We are utterly dependent on the Creator to keep us above that gravitational pull. The ego no longer gives us confidence or a sense of stability. Instead, we feel suspended — held in midair by the Creator’s magnetic force.
Living in Dependency
This is not a one-time experience. It is a living, breathing state that depends on our constant awareness of our fragility and our complete dependence on the Creator. We must unceasingly ask, pray, and plead for the strength to remain connected to Him — not for our own sake, but for the sake of others and for His sake.
From the ego’s point of view, such dependency is deeply humiliating. It strips us of our independence, our pride, our sense of control. But from the perspective of the small but pure spark within us that wants to cleave to the Creator, that dependency is the source of the deepest, most authentic joy. Nothing else matters but maintaining this reciprocal connection — a connection built not on power, but on total surrender and love.
The Reward Without Shame
This is the only reward that brings no shame: the ability to rise above our ego, to act with selfless love, and to become like the Creator — not for personal satisfaction, but to reveal Him as the single, benevolent force that governs all of reality. In that state, we are not ashamed, but proud — not with egoistic pride, but with a pride that stems from truth, purpose, and alignment with the highest force in existence.