Reaching agreements above differences

Question from the Internet:

“How do you manage to discuss something with those who disagree with you?”

I think the keyword in your question is “discussion” and not “debate” or “convincing”.

We have to understand that we are all extremely different from each other, moreover, we are all born into an inherently egocentric, subjective viewpoint, thus we have absolutely no ability to see, experience, taste, understand what others go through, how they see reality, unless we went through the very same experiences, conditions, and states but even then how we experience them, differs from how others experience them.

Thus by default, we can’t agree and we also can’t convince each other, our “triumphs” at debates are temporary and we just created enemies from those we convinced.

Thus a healthy, positive, constructive discussion consists of all the participants “placing on the table” their own viewpoints, opinions and then after they have done so in the first circle in a round table discussion they spend the rest of the time listening to, trying to absorb, understand the opinions of the others, making efforts to see things through the desires, opinions, and viewpoints of those others.

As a result, after a few circles a completely new, composite opinion, viewpoint is forming with solutions, data that did not exist in any of the individual participants before the meeting. Then they leave with this new, higher, composite solution and each is happy since this new solution contains parts from all of their individual opinions, thus nobody is a loser, nobody is convinced, except they all worked for and created something completely new they can all accept.