Life-Creating Mutual Integration

Zsolt Hermann
12 min readOct 8, 2024

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Rabash (Rav Shalom HaLevi Ashlag), Letter №8

“…Once I have acquired the clothing of love, sparks of love promptly begin to shine within me. The heart begins to long to unite with my friends, and it seems to me that my eyes see my friends, my ears hear their voices, my mouth speaks to them, the hands embrace, the feet dance in a circle, in love and joy together with them, and I transcend my corporeal boundaries. I forget the vast distance between my friends and me and the outstretched land for many miles will not stand between us.

It is as though my friends are standing right within my heart and see all that is happening there, and I become ashamed of my petty acts against my friends. Then, I simply exit the corporeal vessels and it seems to me that there is no reality in the world except my friends and I. After that, even the “I” is canceled and is immersed, mingled in my friends, until I stand and declare that there is no reality in the world — only the friends…”

The above beautiful quote is from the most important Kabbalist — unique, empirical natural scientists studying human nature and reality’s single, all-encompassing integrated living system — of our generation.

The quote describes the unique and gradual process of mutual connection and integration in special groups, where people set out to acquire a completely new way of approaching, perceiving, and attaining reality.

Original Human Nature and Behavior

By default, we are all seemingly separate and individual entities, living in our 100% subjective, self-serving, and self-justifying bubbles. We connect, mingle, and crash into each other only to the extent such actions serve our completely selfish and exploitative “pleasure/pain” calculations.

All our instinctive calculations, decisions, and actions serve only these personal calculations. We cannot even move a finger or utter a word unless it is in order to take ourselves closer to ever-growing pleasures or to distance ourselves from personal pain and suffering.

As a result, we are locked into “this reality,” this Matrix, which is the construct of our collective egos. “This world,” this Matrix is built by and for the 100% selfish, exploitative, and self-serving ego we are all born with.

However, this is not “true reality.”

As Kabbalists explain to us, based on their experience and their research of complete reality, “true reality” cannot be based on the selfish and exploitative ego. This ego exists and behaves like cancer.

Thus, a world that is built on the ego cannot create and sustain life.

As we can see from human history and the behavior of our own generation, we do not build but destroy; we do not create life, but we suffocate and destroy it.

Even on the most basic level — as we can observe in the “most developed Western society — we do not want families and children anymore. Our egoism and narcissism reached such a level where building a family and giving birth to children through the myriads of necessary compromises have become a disturbance, something that is revolting for our maximally developed egos.

Humanity is dying under the governance of the ego.

The Kabbalistic Method of Mutual Integration

Kabbalists like Rav Baruch HaLevi Ashlag have recognized this a long time ago. Based on their experience and their knowledge about the fundamental laws that facilitate the creation and nurturing of life, they developed a unique and practical method for us, specifically for our generation.

Through this method, we can gradually escape our egotistic Matrix and enter a new, perfect, and unlimited reality where we learn how to truly love and serve others in a unique, mutual.

Through this method we can learn how to create and nurture life; how to fulfill each other in the most optimal manner where everyone receives perfectly and exactly what they need — like a baby in the mother’s womb.

Instead of existing like all-consuming and all-destroying cancer cells against each other, we can learn to become healthy, mutually complementing cells that exist only for the sake of serving and fulfilling each other and the whole system.

This is a unique method that can help us not only to start existing and behaving above and against our inherent egos but also to learn how to harness the incredible and insatiable driving force of the ego for positive and mutually beneficial purposes and goals.

The method also provides the tools and ability to harness previously unfelt and invisible developing forces from nature’s system that can help us in this unique self-development we have to conduct above and against our original nature and operating software.

Without these forces, we would have no chance of changing ourselves, as it is impossible to lift ourselves up by pulling our own hair.

The quote at the beginning basically gives us the whole method in a nutshell.

What is Love?

People who have a starting inclination to change themselves, recognize who they are, and learn what their purpose in life is need to connect in small, specifically organized and conducted groups.

They need to learn about how everything they ever feel, think, and do is governed by the selfish and exploitative ego. They need to learn and recognize that by default, their every though and action is against others in order to prove and fulfill themselves.

Alongside this unpleasant self-recognition, they also need to develop and cultivate an ever-increasing desire and need to truly love others.

“True love” has nothing to do with the notion we consider “love” in our world.

The “love” we practice, write poems and music about and create movies about is just as selfish and egocentric as everything else we do.

We “love” when we feel good about it when we receive some reward, recognition, or reciprocation for our “love.”

If such selfish fuel is missing, it disappears, and the “love” also wanes.

“True love” is what we can observe between elements in nature or between the cells and organs of our own biological bodies. “True love” means sensing and perfectly fulfilling the desires and needs of others exactly how those others want it.

If the cells and organs of our biological bodies did not “love” one another this way, our bodies would fall apart, and all living functions would cease to exist immediately.

The events of our generation — constant conflicts, social unrest, and wars — also show us very clearly that beneficial mutual integration is the foundation for life and survival, while selfish and egoistic separation means death.

Our conflicts and wars destroy and erase parts of humanity, different cultures, and nations, although nobody and nothing is obsolete. Each and every part of nature’s perfect and all-encompassing system has its crucially important and irreplaceable role and function for the whole.

Thus, through this unique Kabbalistic method, we have to and we can learn and practice how to love and serve another instead, in contrast to the instinctive hate and destruction that arises from our inherent programming.

Rubbing of the Hearts Together

Since in nature’s system nothing is accidental or mistaken, even our inherently egotistic, subjective, individualistic and cancer-like programming is purposeful.

In order to realize and fulfill our unique Human role and purpose in nature’s system, we have to learn mutual integration and “true love” against and in contrast to our inherent nature.

It will specifically be this contrast and comparative research ability — between our inherent and acquired nature and behavior — that will enable us to fulfill our unique role and purpose.

In the carefully assembled small groups, mutually committed and mutually supporting people — who have no prior, familial or instinctively “loving” connection with each other — have to start learning and practicing “true love” and selfless and unconditionally serving connections with each other.

They have to do this against the increasingly awakening and strengthening resistance from their selfish egos, which will try to employ different and ever-shrewder tactics to disrupt and prevent the developing interconnections between them.

A unique, dynamic, vibrating relationship of mutual connection and rejection starts to form. The members of the group will gradually enter into an ever-deepening contrast between the increasing connection and mutual support and the concomitantly increasing egoistic and subjective separation and rejection fuelled by the fighting egos.

In the right environment and with the right guidance of the method, this constant mutual effort with its intermingling and bumping into each other — or, as Rabash describes, “as the initial stony hearts are rubbed against each other” — sparks are ignited.

We can observe something similar even between spouses. In a “good marriage,” sparks are flying.

Two inherently and 100% egotistic and selfish people who are born only to serve and love themselves try to make the marriage work by agreeing to constant and ever-growing compromises in order to become able to spend decades of life together and function as a single unit.

As they try to make compromises, their egos constantly clash. It is really hard work to build such a strong mutual devotion and love between them that can constantly cover and neutralize the endless clashes, differences of opinions and urges to control the other that their egos incite.

Unfortunately, not many people — especially these days — have the necessary upbringing and education to cope with this. As a result, divorce rates are growing, and many young people today do not even attempt to commit themselves to long-term relationships, let alone to formal marriage.

However, it is specifically the constant “rubbing of the hearts,” the constant efforts and success of overcoming the egoistic eruptions with love, that makes a marriage blossom and prosper and the love grow.

It is through the “wars” of entering each other’s domain, shattering the shields separating them, intermingling with each other’s inner qualities and states that they get to know each other more and more intimately. It is through these “wars” can they gradually chisel and format each other and themselves to create a “matching pair.”

Without the conflict eruptions and mutual efforts to solve them and cover them with love, they can never truly integrate, and the marriage slowly withers and dies.

It is the ego that is our driving force and the fuel behind everything we do. If we learn how to neutralize and cover the destructive egoistic eruptions with “true love,” we can “ride the ego” and achieve things we could never achieve otherwise.

We can extrapolate the same notion and method to groups of people in society and to the nations of the world.

Our inherent nature will always and inevitably incite us against one another.

Conflicts, arguments, and wars are inevitable parts of human nature. Without the insatiable and all-consuming, all-wanting, and inquisitive ego, humanity would have never developed to the cultural, social, and technological level we reach today.

On the other hand, if we do not learn how to neutralize and cover the ego’s destructive inclination with “true or natural love,” we will surely self-destruct.

Nowadays, we can figuratively imagine how many leaders in the world are already holding their eager fingers over the “red button” of mass destruction.

However, we can’t learn and practice this “true love” — above and against our egos — on a national or world level.

We can learn how — instead of the destructive wars — to use the usual conflicts, arguments, and collisions in order to learn from each other, to “peacefully” enter one another with the intention of facilitating a mutually benevolent mutual interaction that leads to a qualitatively much higher, global and collective existence.

First, we have to learn how to recognize, control, and use our inherent nature in small, safe, and methodically conducted environments.

Reaching Connection Through Fear of the Ego

This is why we need the Kabbalistic groups and the method those great empirical scientists developed specifically for our generation that can either shift human development to a qualitatively much higher, “truly Human” level or will ignite a global meltdown and calamity that will wipe most of humanity off the face of this planet.

When a small group of people connects and collides using the Kabbalistic method, they will develop an ever-growing need and yearning for true love while feeling their egos mounting incredible resistance.

The sparks they ignite with their connections and collisions — while steadfastly holding onto their common goal of reaching “true love” and nature-like mutual integration in order to participate in creating and nurturing life — can ignite the “flames of true love” as the sparks draw the above-mentioned assistance from nature’s hidden developing forces.

It is this “ignited” — merited by their collective efforts — “natural love” that will first neutralize and cover the disruptive and harmful activity of their egos.

As Rabash describes in the quote above, they develop a great fear of their inherent nature, seeing and feeling how much harm it can cause by disturbing their efforts to connect and serve each other.

It is this great fear of their own nature and the harm they can potentially cause to each other and to the purpose they need to achieve that is the foundation of “true love.”

It is the “true fear” — fearing their own nature and the harm it can cause — that dares assistance from nature’s developing forces providing the “neutralizing cover” against the destructive ego.

As a result, they succeed in connecting to each other in a way they could never connect before. This mutual connection is beyond any connection we can imagine in this world — whether it is a sports team or military commando — as this unique mutual connection is already free of any inherently egotistic, selfish, or exploitative intention or bias.

This is the state that Rabash describes as “there is no other reality in the world except my friends and I.”

They connect as a single unit, surrounded by that “clothing of love” that neutralizes their egos so no harmful incitement or action can separate them from each other.

This unity is based on the fear each of them feels, fearing that their own egos will rip them apart, so with the help of those natural developing forces, through the power of “true love,” they can “hold their egos at arm’s length.”

This state is like “sitting on the fence” between two realities, seeing and tasting the stark contrast between our present, egotistic, and destructive reality and a previously unknown reality that is based on pure and uncorrupted love and service of others where one’s existence is felt and measured only to the extent one can selflessly and unconditionally love and serve another, exactly how that other desires.

Life-Creating Mutual Integration

This insight and taste from that other, loving reality and the increasing assistance from nature’s developing forces — they merit by steadfastly continuing their mutual efforts towards their mutual integration — pulls them inside that reality.

Instead of the deep connection they achieved on the merit of their fear of the ego and acting independently of their egos, they actually start “entering each other’s desires and thoughts” as if freely roaming the endless thoughts and desires they can reveal in each other while making sure they do not cause any harm to each other.

They enter each other like a careful heart or brain surgeon who is fearfully aware of what harm one could cause, so act only with the intention to cure and facilitate life instead of causing harm.

They stop feeling themselves as their existence has become sensing and fulfilling others through the intention of love.

This is what Rabash describes as “After that, even the “I” is canceled and is immersed, mingled in my friends, until I stand and declare that there is no reality in the world — only the friends.”

This mutual, loving integration is like bees carrying pollen from tree to tree to impregnate, or grafting different plants to create something new and composite.

They induce and enliven each other new qualities and abilities by installing their own qualities into each other.

This harm-free and loving mutual integration creates an exponential “inner explosion.” When ten people integrate with each other in this form, they do not simply create a composite “being” that consists of ten parts. They create a “being” that consists of ten to the power of ten.

Previously, they connected to each other and felt as if they attached themselves to the others like one attaching oneself to a wall.

Now, by integrating with each other, by being absorbed into the desires, thoughts, and viewpoints of the others, one feels ”sucked in,” as if “on the other side of the wall.

Behind the friends, the integrated person starts to feel and attain a complete, integral, and living system created and operated by a single, all-encompassing, all-powerful, and purposeful force.

Through this integration, these people can feel and partner with this force, freely roaming in and researching the whole system, understanding all the cause-and-effect processes that lead to the creation and nurturing of life.

We recognize our unique serving and life-facilitating role in the system. The deeper we integrate into the loving and bestowing system through each other, the more similarity we achieve with the purely and unconditionally loving and bestowing core of the system, understanding its goal and action in greater detail and resolution in an intimate and emotional manner.

Reaching full similarity and equivalence with this single, all-encompassing source and becoming equal partners with it in creating and nurturing life is our Human purpose in life.

This is why “Human” in Hebrew, “Adam,” comes from the notion “domeh,” or “similar.”

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Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.