How can we truly help others?

Zsolt Hermann
2 min readFeb 1, 2023

Question from the Internet:

“Does helping in most cases cause harm to the object of help because it prevents them from learning to cope with the problem by themselves, makes them dependent, and/or makes them feel obliged?”

This depends on how we “help”, and it very much depends on the intention behind “helping”.

Our major problem is, that we are all inherently egocentric, subjective, and individualistic. All our “visions”, perceptions, goals, aspirations, and intentions are automatically self-serving, and self-justifying. We distort everything to our benefit. We simply cannot even move a finger unless the action serves our own benefit.

Thus when we are “helping” others, we cannot help them in a way that is beneficial to them. Even if we think it is beneficial to them, and even if we think that we “help” with the best possible intentions, we are still acting for our own sake, according to our own understanding and values, and goals.

This can be conscious or unconscious, it does not matter. This is how we are built and programmed by default, thus as long as we act instinctively, according to our inherent qualities this is how we “help”. And as a result, usually, our “help” is harmful.

In order to truly help others, we would need to develop the ability to see and feel others totally selflessly, without any egocentric and subjective bias, feeling others as they feel themselves, and seeing reality through their viewpoint.

And while this sounds impossible, there is a unique, purposeful, and practical method that can actually teach us how to perceive reality through the needs, desires, and viewpoints of others “outside of ourselves”, as if we did not exist.

And this has much greater implications than “simply” helping others. By sensing and perceiving reality “outside of ourselves”, as if we did not exist we can gain a completely new sense of existence. We can totally liberate ourselves from all the limitations and distortions that come from our inherently egocentric, subjective, and individualistic viewpoints.

This can lead to a state in which we feel life — absolutely realistically, tangibly, and truly — beyond the limitations of time, space, or motion, stripped of the sense of physical life or death.

Thus learning how to selflessly and unconditionally help others as they would want actually helps us to rise to a completely different, qualitatively much higher sense of existence.

This is something we can learn and practice here and now, as the method is ready, it is open and already working.

Only our desire and willingness are missing.



Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.