How can we control the negative qualities and behavioural patterns inside ourselves?

Question from the Internet:

“Is removing negative behaviours better than adding positive behaviours or vice versa when it comes to self-improvement?”

Can we actually remove negative behaviours or characteristics in us? Can we actually suppress or erase different patterns, habits we do not like or others find unacceptable?

What personal and historical examples show us this is not possible. We might be able to suppress certain behaviours or characteristics for a while. Still, unless we balance those “negative” things in us with positive ones or learn how to harness and channel the negative aspirations towards positive and constructive goals, simply suppression turns into a rebound. Those negative qualities and patterns break out with even stronger force and destructive abilities than before.

And we have many destructive behavioural patterns and qualities in us since we are all born with a 100% egocentric, subjective and individualistic viewpoint and calculations, and we all — knowingly or unknowingly succeed at each other’s expense, and we even get a “kick out of” gaining while others are losing.

Of course, we are not aware of this at first, and only through certain situations, as a result of certain conditions, do we start to recognize such “flaws” and “blemishes” in us, and it takes quite a while to acknowledge them, and it takes even longer to admit the need to change and improve them.

We can compare this to how the endlessly updated technological devices we use almost always come out “unfinished” with “beta software”, making us all “beta testers. Then through endless software updates — as new and new shortcomings come to light — manufacturers try to improve and upgrade those devices until they reach their most optimal state and function.

We can say that Nature’s evolution also “released us into production” with an unfinished “beta software”, making us actually incompatible with the Natural system’s overall “software” that is 100% altruistic, selfless, mutually responsible and mutually complementing. Only this “Natural software” can facilitate the creation and development of life in Nature’s closed, integral living system.

The scattered, infighting and excessively overconsuming human beings are the opposite of this Natural software. We are like a very important component of Nature’s complex system, which component was not assembled together properly, each part working independently, for their own sake instead of cooperating and functioning together as a single unit that is also an integral part of Nature’s system.

The most important part of our software, the sense of mutual integration and the necessity to run and function as a seamless network above “personal computing and function”, is missing from us at birth.

But in Nature’s system, there are no accidents or random actions. We are “released into production” unfinished and harmful in order for us to recognize this “flaw” and come to a conscious and willing decision to upgrade and further develop ourselves — through sequential upgrades — until we become the most optimal parts of the seamless human network that also finds it place in Nature’s integral system.

After millennia of unconscious and instinctive human development and countless helplessly recurring, vicious historical cycles, today, we have reached the point when this willing and conscious, self-upgrading part of human evolution has to start.

On e the one hand, we have the very obvious threat of annihilating ourselves for multiple causes and reasons. On the other hand, we already have a conscious recognition of our incompatibility, and we also have the necessary tools and methods to upgrade and further develop ourselves to correct this incompatibility with Nature.

In short, we can’t and do not need to do anything with our negative characters and behavioural patterns. Instead, we must find the right “software updates” from Nature’s system that can balance and complement everything “negative” in us. As a result of this conscious and willing self-development, we will reach our very high and unparalleled evolutionary Human role and functioning Nature’s system.



I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.