Eternal life through aspiring for “true love.”

Zsolt Hermann
9 min readOct 4, 2024

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Born Into Self-Love

By default, we live a very limited, confused, and meaningless life.

With our inherently self-centered, self-serving, self-justifying, and subjective viewpoint and lifestyle, we are locked into ourselves and cannot even imagine, touch, or assess what exists in “real reality” outside of our individualistic, egocentric, and subjective cocoons.

We can only experience and absorb from reality what our “personal computer” — running a 100% selfish, egoistic, and subjective “pleasure/pain” software — deems important and useful for its own sake.

Even our connection to others is only to use and exploit them for the same “pleasure/pain” calculations. We connect to others or disconnect from them to the extent they are useful for our personal pleasure or harmful, causing us pain and suffering.

We have a uniquely human ability to feel others and sympathize with them, but with our original viewpoint and intentions, we use this ability only to use and exploit others.

Even when we “love,” this love is also fuelled by selfish expectations for some reward, positive feedback, or reciprocation. When all selfish hope for rewards from “loving” disappears, the “love” also disappears.

Bounded by Time, Space and Physical Motion

This constant expectation for ever-greater pleasures and the steps we make to distance ourselves from actual or feared suffering create in us the perception of time, space, and motion, which are necessary for moving towards pleasures and distancing ourselves from personal pain.

Our egotistic self is in the middle of this “time, space, and motion” coordinate system, sensing reality along its axis and vectors.

In truth, we sense ourselves existing according to time, space, and motion as long as we think about ourselves and how our plans and aspirations relate to ourselves.

When we are in situations where we “suspend” any thinking or calculation about our egoistic and subjective self, as if we also suspend time, space, and motion, we start floating in a “different dimension.”

This can happen during activities and occasions where we are under the influence of a large number of people, like sporting events or concerts; when we are under some great emotional influence or, for example, when we fast for different reasons, and we do not need to worry about what we eat or drink next.

We also have the example of mothers after giving birth to their babies, how their whole life transforms and they almost forget about their own existence since all their attention is focused on the most optimal state of the newborn baby.

Such examples only give us some taste of comprehension of what existence above and beyond sensing time, space, and motion might be like.

However, these tastes are not real since we are still firmly rooted in our original egoistic self, subjectively and personally enjoying the states we take part in since otherwise we would not even be there.

Similarly, people can induce states of “no timer, space or motion” by different hallucinogen substances, but those states are also unreal and do not help us get any closer to truly existing beyond the confines of time, space, and physical motion.

How Can We Escape Ourselves?

In order to start sensing reality and life above and beyond the egocentric and subjective limitations of time, space, and physical motion, we would need to develop a viewpoint, a point of observation that is completely outside of our original egocentric, individualistic, and subjective cocoons so no self-serving or self-justifying bias would influence what we feel and think.

We need to “escape from our selves” to a place where the egoistic and subjective “self” has no control over us. We need to give birth to and develop a “self” — or independent observer — that is capable of existing and behaving outside of the control of our inherently selfish egos.

This needs to become a point of consciousness we have never experienced and used before. Through this unique observer point, we would be fully aware of how the ego is controlling and influencing us, and still, we would become able to act above and against the control of the ego — without suppressing or erasing the egoistic influence.

In order to “escape ourselves,” we have to enter “somewhere else.”

This “somewhere else” is within the desires, thoughts, life experiences, and viewpoints of others.

Moreover, in order to facilitate a true “escape” out of our inherently selfish, egocentric, and subjective cocoons, those “others” have to be people we do not have any usual, hormonal, familial, or instinctive relationship with, where the usual and instinctive selfish “pleasure/pain” calculations could justify our connection and interest in those “others.”

This is why, in order to truly and practically escape our inherent nature and perception of reality and to learn, practice, develop and attain a truly perfect, eternal, and unlimited life experience, we need a special method in a precisely and methodically built and conducted environment.

In this environment, we need to interconnect with people we did not choose for ourselves but who were seemingly randomly chosen for us. With these “aliens,” we need to build unique, mutually committed, and mutually supportive integration and relationships that become stronger and live longer than any other connection and relationship we have ever had.

With these “aliens,” I need to build something I cannot build with anybody else, not even with my loved ones.

With these ‘alien people” in this unique environment, I can build a completely new “Human” quality and life experience that can catapult us above and beyond what we sense in this life — while still living this life with our loved ones as well.

The only “human condition” that can catapult a person out of one’s self is love. In order to truly escape our inherently selfish, egotistic, individualistic, and exploitative boundaries, we need to learn and practice “true or natural;” love instead of the usual, self-serving, and self-fulfilling “love” we know from our usual experiences.

The Laboratory of True Love

“True or natural” love is a state where the “lover” totally nullifies oneself and becomes a 100% selfless and unconditional servant of the “beloved,” sensing and most optimally fulfilling the desires of the “beloved” exactly how the “beloved” wants it, without any hint of instinctively selfish or subjective bias and distortion.

It is this “true or natural” love that permeates nature’s all-encompassing system. It is this love that creates and nurtures life and drives the positive and purposeful development of natural evolution. If the cells and organs of our own biological bodies did not possess this “truly loving” quality, we could not exist even for a moment; our bodies and everything in the Universe would fall apart. It is this “true or natural” love that holds everything together and enlivens reality.

In this unique and purposeful environment, the mutually committed and mutually supportive “aliens” set out to learn and practice this “true or natural” love — in other words, they try to achieve the proverbial principle of “Love another as yourself” — above and against their inherently self-loving and hateful towards others nature.

The more they invest efforts and energy into trying to feel and serve one another, the more they encounter resistance and hate from their inherent egos that feel provoked and threatened.

This inherent human ego, that is behind everything we ever feel, think, decide or do starts to show itself and invents ever-newer and shrewd tactics and activities to undermine our efforts and derail the attempts towards “true or natural love.”

Standing Between Heaven and Earth

A unique “inner split” develops in the participants of this special “human experiment.”

Through the incessant and fully committed mutual work, the participants develop a never-before-felt desire and yearning to achieve “true love” and start experiencing and sensing reality through each other.

The more energy, time, and effort they invest into each other through their mutual efforts, the more that investment becomes important to them. Thus, even “egoistically,” it makes sense to continue this “human experiment,” following one’s investment.

On the other hand, they keep provoking and revealing their inherent egos; as a result, finding themselves in between two huge forces and inclinations.

This facilitates the birth of a unique, truly Human observer, an “expert point” through which they can look at themselves “from the side,” separating the ego from the “human self” while aiming this “human self” above and against the ego turning towards the collective goal of achieving “true love” between them.

Here, the unique method helps them to identify with the new “expert observer,” which is a pure, neutral, and objective viewpoint that did not exist before.

Through this growing and strengthening independent viewpoint, they can clearly observe and examine the two options they developed in life.

One option is returning to the original, closed, selfish, egotistic, individualistic, and exploitative lifestyle, living only for their own sake within the boundaries of physical time, space, and motion.

The other option is continuing their mutual efforts towards a still unknown and mysterious state of pure and natural mutual love, where they exist and act only for each other’s sake while completely forgetting about themselves.

They sort of have an imagination about what that “state of pure and mutual love” looks and feels like, but since it is a state that has no root in our original nature, they can’t grasp or even fully comprehend it. Also, they do not have any advance guarantees that they can reach such a state or if that state exists at all.

They are standing at a unique boundary, seemingly with the ability to cut even the last anchors that still connect them to their original selfish egos — which have been providing their secure foundations and the coordinate system for their existence so far — and jump into the unknown.

It is a state of “between heaven and earth,” where they know what “earth” is like, which “earth” they would like to push themselves off from, but they do not know what awaits them beyond.

Beyond the Clutches of the Ego

If they build enough mutual responsibility and support between them, if they generate a strong enough need and yearning towards that “mysterious” state of pure, natural, and mutual love” that can catapult them out of themselves, their momentum can harness unique forces from nature’s evolutionary system — that is “interested into assisting their mutual integration” according to its deterministic evolutionary plan — and with these forces they can “lift off” the ground and cut all ties with their selfish egos.

When this disconnection from the clutches of the ego unfolds, they do not immediately enter the “domain of pure and unconditional natural love.”

First, they “simply” acquire the ability not to cause harm to each other and the natural system. They acquire the ability to restrain their ego’s continuing attempts to incite and control them.

The ego does not disappear by being disconnected from it. This disconnection simply means that the ego is “held at arm’s length.” This means that the unique objective observer can foresee and predict the ego’s next move and hold it back before the ego harms its mutual connection and support.

This state is “fueled” by a unique fear and trepidation, constantly being on guard so the ego would not harm their mutual efforts and integration that is the foundation of the unique love they all want to achieve.

It is this unique fear and trepidation that is the prerequisite of that love.

Freely Roaming Reality Above Time, Space and Motion

This state of purity, becoming neutral and not harming towards each other and nature, this unique state of “being suspended” above the harmful control of the ego, already provides a never-before-felt insight into each other’s desires and into nature’s all-encompassing system.

Since they gained the ability not to harm one another — not even with their thoughts — they can freely enter each other’s desires and thoughts, as if wading into the water without causing any ripples.

With his unique ability of purity or “mercy” they can freely roam within the desires of all of them, using each other’s viewpoints to create a composite picture of reality that is free of any inherently selfish, egotistic and subjective bias and distortion.

They can’t yet fulfill those “alien” desires.

The liberated, independent, objective observer starts to experience and sense reality without the individualistic and subjective restrictions of time, space, and motion since now; the observer is not chasing constantly awakening and pressing selfish desires and their fulfillment that necessitate the coordinates of time, space, and motion.

Now, this unique Human observer can freely and without any restriction roam reality through the desires and viewpoints of others beyond any limitations of time, space, and motion.

From here on, starts a completely new process of learning how and with what conditions that can learn to fulfill each other’s desires according to each other’s viewpoints and experience the actual “true and natural love” that creates and nurtures life in reality.

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Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.