Can we come to truly like, love others?

Zsolt Hermann
2 min readJan 23, 2022

Question from the Internet:

“Why is it not possible for everyone to like everyone, and what must we all do if we were to achieve that feat?”

Human beings are unique in Nature as we are born with a unique, subjective, fiercely and proudly individualistic ego, that makes us sense ourselves as independent, standalone beings, disconnected from others and Nature, forced to survive, succeed at the expense of others through ruthless, exclusive competition.

As a result, we can truly “like, love” only ourselves, and temporarily those who are beneficial for us. This is neither evil nor sinful, this is how Nature’s evolution created us, the instinctive competition, insatiable desire to fulfill ourselves beyond our actual necessities drive human development, our incredible evolution compared to other animals, most notable compared to other developed primates.

On the other hand, now our egoistic independence, separation threatens our survival, since in this fully integrated and interdependent world, within Nature’s fully integrated system we can’t solve problems and survive individually, against each other.

Thus we will need to learn, develop “love of others” (love meant as it is in Nature, the selfless, unconditional mutual cooperation, altruistic service towards others and the whole which facilitates life and optimal development) as the vehicle of collective Human survival.

But what can we do when we have only instinctive “self-love” in us and we can’t change ourselves?!

Through a unique, purposeful, and practical scientific, educational method we can learn, understand and “viscerally” feel, that those “others” I have to accept and love are actually not “others”, but they are part of me since I am only a single, individual cell within Humanity’s single, all-integral, living organism we all belong to, and this Human organism is also an integral part of Nature’s even greater single living organism.

Here the ancient, poetic principle (mostly ignored, dismissed) of “Love your neighbor as yourself” suddenly makes sense. I have to love others because they are “myself”, they are part of my “self” which is the whole Natural organism.

This is something we need to learn, accept, practice gradually, in specifically organized, smaller, more manageable environments, since this concept is totally alien, against our original subjective, egocentric viewpoint. This is why we need a special method to give us not only intellectual understanding but most important to give us direct, very realistic, tangible, emotional impressions, without which we cannot change our perception, outlook, attitude.

But when we start to feel part of this collective organism and we also start to sense, use the unprecedented collective consciousness, intellect that comes with it, we realistically, tangibly open up a completely different dimension of sensing life, like sensing our own present self instead of sensing life as a single cell in our biological body.

This is something we can all develop, achieve here and now without going anywhere, without forfeiting or losing our present, physical life. It is an addition, an extra layer of existence, perception on top of what we sense, feel today.

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Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.