Any change has to start with me

Zsolt Hermann
4 min readJun 4, 2023


An opinion from the Internet:

We are children of this world. Here, everything eats everything else. That’s just how it is. The circle of life. Can’t blame them for representing this. But I can hurt them. Not in a way they can do anything to help them out, either. I’m not here to get caught up with them anymore. Found a better way. In a sense, I’m the same as you, our philosophy matches in some big way. Now let’s hear from you. I mean you. You’ve shared your philosophy but not what it’s built on. I’d like to know and have given my own land up here as collateral. Don’t disappoint me.

Thank you very much for your honesty and emotional openness.

Before I talk about myself, let me say that what I am writing about is not a “philosophy.” Philosophy tends to be “airy” and theoretical, most of the time with little or no practical relevance.

Instead, I have been studying and practicing a unique empirical method whose object is the human being and our inherent human nature. Through this science, we study ourselves as we place ourselves into unique, closed environments, where we try to truly accept and love and serve others above self-interest until we realize it is impossible.

And only when we realize that it is impossible to truly accept, love, and serve others, since we are all born with 100% self-love and self-interest and at the same time, we also feel and understand that only through selflessly connecting to others and learning how to unconditionally loving and serving others can we survive — while we do not dismiss, do not suppress or erase our original selfish tendencies, then starts the hard work of trying to change and further develop ourselves — in practice.

As you can imagine, the honest and brutal recognition that I am a 100% self-serving, self-justifying being that actually enjoys hurting others and succeeding at the expense of others truly hits the person. The specialty of the method is that you reach this recognition in a way that you simply can’t escape; there is no way you can justify yourself any longer.

This, on the one hand, brings tremendous burning shame and self-loathing; on the other hand, it also brings an insatiable and irrepressible need for self-change.

And here, one also recognizes that there is no point in blaming others; I cannot point fingers at others since until I change myself and my 100% subjective and egocentric viewpoint, I can’t even trust how I see others and what criticism or claims I have against them. If such recognition does not reach a person in the right environment, through the right method, one could easily try to escape through suicide since no pride or esteem for the original self remains.

One has no other option but to try to escape towards a better version of oneself, where one starts to become truly selfless and unconditional lover and servant of others. And in the right, mutually supportive, and mutually complementing environment, where each person goes through the same internal process, it is possible.

This is where I am, with many others from all over the world who chose to explore themselves with the aim of changing themselves.

In terms of my previous personal story, I also went through hurting others, even my loved ones, many times. And instead of sticking with a “flawed” nation or country, I escaped from two already, living in my third country, already deeply disliking this also.

But the problem is not around me; the problem is within me. We can’t change the world or others directly; we cannot even start to change anything unless we start changing ourselves first.

So when I am talking about harmful and negative aspects of human nature, it is based on my tangible experiences with my own nature, experiences gained in a unique environment where, for the first time in my life, I tried truly loving and serving others with zero self-interest or reward — and failed.

But it is specifically this failure, recognizing how helpless and flawed I am, that is offering hope for a true change.

We have to recognize who we truly are and what desires and intentions truly drive us before we can want to and agree to change — ourselves first. As wise sages write, only the “truly broken-hearted”, who had no belief or hope left in their own strength and abilities are ready to change and better themselves.

And when our aim is to truly change ourselves and, by that, try to help others to change also, this recognition of our own absolute lowliness and helplessness, when we are ready to “hand ourselves over” to the unique method and forces that can change us is the happiest and cleanest moment in one’s life.

I truly hope I did not disappoint you!



Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.