Acquiring true love from Nature

Zsolt Hermann
3 min readFeb 18, 2021


Opinion from the Internet about “true love":

“I do not think mankind can produce agape love without their creator. I believe unconditional love does NOT require a reciprocal love as you suggest. For example, a mother to children or the way a husband loves his wife. Altruism is debatable as many philosophers argue that there is a reward in alutrism. Here are some examples, the way God loves his creation, which is rarely reciprocated. There are many people in my life who I love dearly, but it’s not reciprocal either; for it does not stop me from loving them anyway. Same holds true for the child/mother relationship. You can have a child that is outright evil, but 9 times out 10, their mother will still love them greatly despite the way they are and what they do. I believe you underestimate the power of love my friend. In additiont, there are also different types of love, love languages and degree of love. Therefore, I would argue that love is not an absolute as you stated. Finally, in terms of your statement that you cannot love yourself if you love others and vice versa. Love is not an absolute but rather subjective based on what I have already proposed.”

In many ways you are absolutely correct. But we are not taking about the same “love".

The mother’s love towards her children is “unconditional" when we examine it in the context of our egotistic world. But in “absolute terms" it is not unconditional at all, Nature imprinted the mother’s love into all female parts of Nature’s system so they look after their children safeguarding the procreation, evolution of their species.

Of course we humanize this mother’s love in humans, but it is still instinctively driven by Nature.

This is the same to everything else we “love" in this world, it can have hormonal, familial or other reason, the person we “love" might be a very important person, there might be reasons, intentions we ourselves don’t know.

But since we are programmed in a very simple way — to make all calculations based on a 100% self-serving, self-justifying pleasure/pain manner, we can’t “love" without something in return.

The “true love" we would need to reach - without which we can’t build the mutual integration, “loving”, unconditionally serving connections to others — where we have no selfish “reason to love”, is above our nature. So you are right, we can’t achieve it without “external help", input.

We could keep the source of the “true love" as “God/Creator", or we can say that this is the “love" that permeates Nature, it is Nature’s evolutionary force that creates, nurtures, developed life.

It is easier to work with Nature’s force as then we can access, copy, draw on ourselves this force and actually, realistically acquire this Natural (or Godly) love for ourselves, above and against the inherent self-love that operates is usually.

This requires a gradual, long process, methodical development which starts using our present nature. Thus when we start working, making efforts towards true, unconditional love first we need the mutual support, mutually complementing cooperation. If we don’t feel reciprocal, similar loving efforts from others towards us, we can never give up the instinctive self-love even to the smallest extent.

And only when we try and try with mutual help and still can’t fully get there, that’s when we realize that it is beyond our ability and need Nature’s help.

And then this help comes as Nature’s evolution drives everything towards integration, but with Humans it only works when we give up the ego and submit to evolution’s drive consciously, willingly.



Zsolt Hermann

I am a Hungarian-born Orthopedic surgeon presently living in New Zealand, with a profound interest in how mutually integrated living systems work.